The terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon have had a major impact on the American public. We have all seen the horrifying photos and heard media coverage of the tragic loss of life. Clearly, our lives have been changed by this national tragedy.
These acts of terrorism and violence can have a deep effect on our children. Children are sensitive and can often detect our anxieties, even those that
we do not talk about. At this time, it is important that as parents, grandparents, or teachers, we be aware of these feelings and that we address their concerns. In order to help children deal with this tragedy, we make the following suggestions:
1) Talk to your children. Do not assume that the children do not know. They may have heard about the events from
other children, other adults, computers, radio and television. They may be reluctant to talk because they are scared. However, they do know that something is wrong.
2) Explain it to them. Use general language that's easy for them to understand. For example, you might tell them that the terrorist attacks were done by some very bad people. Children need to understand these acts are extreme and children need to know that "bad" in this context is much different from the everyday use of the word.
3) Reassure them. Let them know that our government and law enforcement personnel have promised to find the people involved in these terrorist acts and that they will be punished. Let them know that they are doing everything they can to prevent it from happening again.
4) Comfort them. Children need to know that its OK to be afraid but let them know that the important adults in their lives always try to protect them from such bad things happening to them.
5) Talk to your children some more. A child's anxiety may linger as they try to understand the events and as new developments occur. Therefore, its important to repeat these steps with children. A one-time talk is not enough.
Barr-Harris Children's Grief Center
A Program of
The Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis