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Recommended Books About Divorce |
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Recommended Books About Divorce |
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Angell, J., Yours Truly. New York: Orchard Books, 1993.
This is a superb novel about a girl whose parents are separated. The mother has a boyfriend and the father has disappeared. There is an eight-year-old brother who is accepting of and attached to the boyfriend, while the girl continues to pine for her father.
The girl moves to New York from New Hampshire, and the story details her adjustment to the new environment. This is done very sensitively and movingly. We see her grades drop, getting drunk for the first time, getting in trouble with her family, and her first sexual experience.
Eventually, the father appears and she reattaches herself to him by trying to recapture the past. The mother files for divorce, while the girl goes to live with her father. She becomes very protective of him. Even though she fights with her mother constantly, there are many tender feelings for her.
This is a very perceptive and mature young lady, who is in touch with what she feels and who understands those around her. What makes this book so good is that her inner self is constantly presented in an accurate manner. One of the better books about divorce.
Boegehold, B., Daddy Doesn't Live Here Anymore. New York: Gold Books, 1985.
This is an excellent book about a little girl (not specified) who reacts badly to her father having left. She goes through a range of reactions -- anger, sadness, guilt, somatic complaints, and a wish to run away. What enriches this story is that the girl acts out with her dolls the treatment that she experiences from her parents. Her mother and father try to comfort her, but the feelings of loss and guilt remain.
The only complaint about this book is that suddenly, as if by magic, she gets over the hurt and everything feels right again. Such an ending conveys an unrealistic expectation. Nevertheless, the story is an excellent illustration of how children deal with trauma; they do unto others what was done to them.
Christiansen, C.B., My Mother's House, My Father's House. New York: Atheneum, 1989.
This is a thoroughly enjoyable book about a little girl whose parents are divorced. Four days of the week she lives in her mother's house and three days at her father's house. Each parent is different, as are their homes. There is a different routine and a different emphasis in each house.
Although the parents are civil to each other, they keep their distance. The main point of this story is that the child gets something valuable from each.
Dragonwagon, C., Always, Always. New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1984.
This is a charming story about a girl, age nine or ten, whose parents are divorced. During the school year she lives with her mother in New York. In the summer she stays with her father in Colorado.
The book revolves around leaving her mother to visit her father. She compares both parents and realizes how different they are. She asks why they got married, since they are so different, and she gets a generic response. However, she loves and enjoys being with both parents, and they love and enjoy being with her. They do not tear down one another. These basics are the essence of the book.
Lowry, Danielle, What Can I Do? A Book for Children of Divorce. Magination Press, 2001. (For children ages 8-12)
This is the story of a young girl whose parents tell her they are divorcing. It portrays the internal confusion and external actions she undertakes to alleviate her feelings of guilt and helplessness. She learns through experience and support that she cannot "fix" the marriage, but she can do quite a lot to make herself feel better. The book is illustrated well and includes questions, feelings and the process of adaptation to a decision made by parents that over time can be managed in an empowering way by the child. It is an excellent book for children to read and discuss together with parents, peers or counselors. Unfortunately the parents in this story did not inform their daughter's teacher of this significant change in the family. It was only when Rosie "acted out" in school that staff became aware of the situation and provided her with much needed support and understanding. The importance of sharing information that affects your child with the school, and why sometimes divorcing parents may not do so, are excellent points of discussion which this book evokes.
Mann, P., My Dad Lives in a Downtown Hotel. Garden City, NY: Doubleday & Company, 1973.
This is a story about a ten-year-old boy who experiences a series of changes in response to the father moving out of the house. He reacts very intensely to his father's leaving and moving into a hotel. He decides that it is his fault that father left, so he goes to father's office to promise that he will be good and to convince him to come back. Part of the story is about his journey to the father's office.
The father does not come back, except to remove his belongings. The boy is sad, guilty, and angry about the change, and he wishes that father would die. Eventually, he and the father start spending time together, and it seems that they have a better time and get along better than when the father lived at home.
This is a good story and it illustrates a child's guilt and attempt to rectify and control a situation over which he has no control. The range of emotional responses is realistic. However, the book is diminished by an unrealistic and feel-good ending. In spite of the ending, this is a worthwhile story.
Stinson, Kathy, Mom and Dad Don't Live Together Any More. Toronto, Canada, Annick Press Ltd., 1985.
This is a pleasant simple book for younger children about divorce. A little girl is very sad and upset about her parents' divorce. As she tries to reconcile two different households and life styles, she wishes her parents were together again. However, she realizes that her parents will not reconcile and she seems happier about the change. This is another "feel good" book about divorce as there is little anger. The main value for younger children is the message that once parents divorce it is final. This book is easy to read with nice drawings and a simple message.
Van-Leeuwen, J., Blue Sky, Butterfly. New York. Dial Books for Young Readers, 1996.
This is an excellent book about divorce. The beauty of this story, about a preadolescent girl whose father leaves, is its simplicity. The girlhas an older brother and an eccentric grandmother but the key to the story is the mother who becomes depressed.
The children have to shift for themselves and the household gradually falls apart. The girl is so angry at her father that she refuses to talk to him and her schoolwork suffers.
The mother starts to emerge from her depression as she starts to work in her garden and then the household begins to return to normal. This is a very basic, simple, well-written story about how a family deals with divorce. There is no fancy plot, no twists or turns, it's just the stark reality of divorce.
Brown, L.K. & Brown, M., Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families. Boston & New York: The Atlantic Monthly, 1986.
This is an appealing, somewhat schematic book for younger children in which facts about divorce are set out in a simple and direct fashion. This book offers the basics without elaboration. The book is a good starting point for parent-child discussions about divorce, as it has the potential to stimulate questions.
I would have preferred more elaboration on a very complex subject.
Nickman, S., When Mom and Dad Divorce. New York: Julian Messner, 1986.
This is an informative book about divorce for young children. The book touches on various divorce-related issues and illustrates them with clinical vignettes. Dr. Nickman is a child psychiatrist and pediatrician, so he knows what he is talking about.
The clinical material is good at illustrating points about a child seeing a therapist. The rest of the material is standard stuff. There are useful suggestions about how to respond when divorcing parents put a child in conflictual situations. However, such issues as parents divorcing because they may be involved with someone else, conflicting loyalties, or one parent turning the child against the other are not addressed.
Nevertheless, this is a useful primer about divorce, as it covers basic issues adequately.
Richards, A. & Willia, I., Get It Together When Your Parents Are Coming Apart. New York: David McKay Company, Inc., 1976
This is a very informative book for children about divorce. It starts with the discussion of interactional patterns between parents that lead to divorce. It covers significant issues during the divorce and afterwards. There are numerous vignettes which illustrate common interactions and conflicts. This book is good because it touches on all possibilities that may contribute to potential difficulties. The two main strengths of this book are that the discussions are psychologically sophisticated and it is one of the few books that touches on sexual issues. The book has shortcomings: there is a lack of emphasis on fighting between divorcing partners, and the section on getting help is not useful. Since the book was published in 1976, it is dated about research on divorce that has emerged in the last twenty years.
Apart from the above mentioned shortcomings, this is an excellent book. It is thorough, complete, and realistic in its approach to the subject of divorce. It is highly recommended.
Stein, S.B., On Divorce: An Open Family Book for Parents and Children Together. New York: Walker and Company, 1979.
This is a clever book for younger children about the threat of divorce that never comes to pass. The little girl acts out a divorce scenario with her friends. However, when she comes home the same situation occurs. The parents fight, the father works late, they accuse each other, the father walks out, he comes back with presents, and they reconcile.
The story builds to a nice climax. In addition, there is commentary in the margins, and good photographs.
This is a worthwhile book. The quality of it is "See, we are having a big fight, but guess what, we were just fighting." Some realism with a staged quality, but for young children highly effective.
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Last modified August 17, 2003
